Whooooshh.

See that picture? That picture proves that our friends are the greatest friends on the face of the earth. Our friends know us well enough to know that along with the mountain of tiny socks, board books and adorable outfits we will also need a good stiff gin and tonic every now and then to help us through the upcoming weeks. As we say in Texas, bless their hearts.


The toddler shower that our friends put together for us was incredible.


Friends who have cheered us on over the last year, friends who are parents, friends who don't ever want to be parents, friends who are just starting their parenting journey, friends who just like a good party--all gathered to help celebrate YH. The gifts were so thoughtful--in pretty much every picture (except the one above) I am making a crying face. Because they ALL made me cry!


Personalized t-shirts for the whole family with our roller derby names on them to wear in the airport (MamaKaze, PapaKaze and MiniKazes 1-3), personalized rash guards for YH to wear to the pool (with matching swim trunks), a book of recipes handwritten by one of the hostess' Korean mother, a library of board books curated by a true friend, Robeez with yoda ears, bunny slippers, a stuffed fox that perfectly matches the bedding I sewed for YH, on and on. A parade of items picked with love for our sweet boy.

And as I looked around the party at all our supporters I finally exhaled.
I have been holding my breath for the last 10 months or so.
Job stress, adoption uncertainty, family crisis--with each challenge I held my breath a little tighter, closed myself off a little more.

Until last week. When finally it felt safe enough to let it all out in one big "whoooosssshhh".

I know that the "thank you" cards I spent all week writing will never be enough to accurately express my gratitude to our people. How do you say "The fact that you showed up to celebrate our growing family gave me the strength to finally let go and be happy" without sounding like a loon? And yet, it's true. The collective love and energy of that party was exactly what I needed to buoy my spirit.

After I started to breath again, I crashed. I slept SO much over the last week--which is really out of character for me.

And each time I woke up I felt lighter. I am excited and nervous and anxious to start our life as a family of five. I can't wait to meet my son. My SON!

I'm ready. I'm taking deep breaths and letting them out. I'm ready.