My stomach clenched and my hands went numb. I hit "refresh refresh refresh" for twenty minutes--twenty unproductive minutes.
I decided to go for a run--grabbed the dog and her leash and hit the pavement. I ran like the wind. Whereas I am normally a slow and huffing runner, today I was a gazelle. A gazelle being pursued by a lion. The dog was confused--happy, but confused.
We got home an hour later and I looked at my cell phone--no missed calls. I looked at my email--no new messages. I logged on to FB and watched three people with late January ATK dates post that they had been submitted for EP. I started to sweat a little harder.
I wrote the following email to my (saintly) program specialist:
I feel like I'm going to throw up. Do you have bad news for me today re: the second batch?
I hit send. I hit refresh for five more minutes.
My home phone rang and I leaped across the house to answer it. Caller ID said "Childrens Home"
I grabbed the phone and said "hello?" in a super shaky teeny tiny voice.
My program specialist said "Nora?'
I said "Hi J*** how are you? How is the weather? What did you have for dinner?" and on and on trying to fill the space.
J*** said "Nora, stop. I have something to tell you."
J*** told me the good news and I started to cry. Heaving sobs. SOBS.
I hung up and called my husband. I cried some more. (I am still crying.) I walked around the house and picked things up, and put them back down again. I took the dog for a second run.
THIS IS REAL AND IT IS HAPPENING!