Thursday, March 29, 2012

Trudging forward

                                                 On a hike in Maine after big rains

I feel like I've been forcing myself to move forward every day this week. My heart and body want to stay in bed all day, but I will not allow myself the luxury of a good wallow. No. It will not happen.

So I get up and make lunches for my three loves (and wonder what my fourth love has for his lunch), and I help my two littles get dressed (and wonder what my third little is wearing) and I see everyone out the door with a cheerful smile (and wonder if I am fooling them).

I walk the dog--forever. We walk and walk and walk around the neighborhood. I take stock of every house with signs of a baby/toddler within. I stare at every stroller that crosses our path. I respond enthusiastically to every parent who says "Can he/she pet your dog?". I smile SO BIG at each toddler that I end up scaring most of them.

It's working. I am fighting the pull of blessedly-numb inertia and filling my days with forced cheer. I am checking things off my to-do list and resisting the urge to spend all day obsessively monitoring my internet information sources.

There have been MAJOR developments in the Korean adoption world this week. The first batch of emigration permits was approved on Monday and just 10 minutes ago I learned of a friend's travel call. The travel calls are coming! Hooray!

I am cautiously hopeful that next week will bring news of the submission of the second batch of emigration permits. I am even more cautiously hopeful that we will be among those submissions.

Forward. Onward. Upward.

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