In the ongoing saga of absolutely NO MOVEMENT
on the adoption process, there has been NO MOVEMENT. Well, except for
the rapid plummeting of the hearts, hopes and dreams of those of us
The most recent credible rumor was that the
South Korean government ministry in charge of processing emigration
permits would begin accepting submissions from placing agencies in
"Mid-February" was Monday. It was Tuesday. It was Wednesday and it is today. And
the ministry has not started accepting submissions. At this point
families have been matched with a specific child, waiting to take
custody of that child, for up to 15 months.
Our US agencies have no idea when the ministry will accept submissons. The Korean placing agencies have no idea when it will happen.
We are all losing our minds.
If you are my friend in real life, and you are still speaking to me, kudos to you. Because man, I don't even want to be around me.
The wait, the unknowns, the worry, the fear--we are exhausted. And we are exhausting.
If you don't ask us about how our son/daughter in Korea is doing we
feel like you don't care. If you do ask us about him/her, we start to
cry or rant. When you make what you think is a light hearted joke about
how buying new shoes/looking at getting a puppy/buying a house is a
"replacement" for not having our waiting child, it feels like you
punched us in the stomach.
Because at this point, it feel entirely possible that we will not get to take custody of these children.
think of the empty strollers parked in our garage. Of the booster seat
strapped to a dining room chair. Of the quilt we made by hand six months
ago, waiting to cover a softly sleeping form.
of our toddlers in Korea, so attached to their foster families/caregivers. We
think of how confusing it will be for them to be handed over to a new
family. Or to leave the facility where they've lived their whole lives.
think of the older children we are adopting. The child about to turn
five who knows she has a family waiting for her but doesn't understand
why they aren't there yet. Why it is taking so long? Did they change
We think of the foster families, who have cared for our children since shortly after birth. Who have slept with these babies on their chests, carried them on their backs, bathed them and witnessed their first steps. What an incredible burden to fill their hearts with so much love and then take it away.
We think of the children already in our families. Children who don't understand the invisible sibling. Children who don't understand why we are so quick to cry at the sight of a toddler.
This sucks. It just sucks.