Saturday, February 18, 2012

Slightly less exhausted.

Last night we were fortunate enough to be invited to dinner at a friend's house. This friend is one of the people who should have nothing to do with me because the last couple of times we've seen each other I've been sour sour sour. But because she is gracious of heart and spirit, she reaches out to keep the friendship blooming. And for that I am so thankful.

And so my lovely friend and her equally lovely family took us in on a rainy night, shared their toys, fed us delicious lasagna, listened to our woes and offered support. And it was magical.

The grown-ups laughed over beers and diet coke. We shared stories from our youth, and listened to the wild rumpus of our own kids chasing and laughing and waging battle on one another.

The kids ranged in age from 10 to 2, and I don't know what was sweeter: seeing my son idolize my friend's eldest child, or seeing her toddler try to win my child's heart with stickers sweetly offered by the handful.

It was a good night; a much needed good night.

My friend also helped me realize that these exhausting weeks follow a pattern (perhaps my fellow waiting friends can relate?):
Monday is fraught with giddy anticipation. It could be THE day!
Tuesday is more anxiety-laden. WHY hasn't it happened? Is my agency update posted on-line yet? Let me hit refresh ONE more time...
Wednesday is filled with moments of negative thoughts followed quickly by moments of optimistic resolve. Clearly it won't be today. BUT it MIGHT be today! Refresh refresh refresh....
Thursday is the saddest day. I give up by 12pm because if the Australian waiting families haven't posted an update by then...Refresh. Half-hearted refresh. Refresh.
Friday I wake up with a weight lifted--nothing will happen over the weekend so I don't have to obsessively check all my information sources. I can leave the phone out of sight all day, I can BREATHE.

Knowing that this pattern exists make me feel slightly more in control of my emotions, and gives me a guide to scheduling activities. Social activities should be consigned to Fridays and the weekends--maybe Monday. They should be limited on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.

What a relief! Now I don't have to worry about putting on a happy face--I can avoid scheduling gatherings/get togethers that would be most stressful on my bad days. I can take maximum advantage of the good days to shower my friends with love--because they deserve it.


  1. I know this will probably sound trite, but... Knowing is half the battle. Here's to the battle being over soon!

  2. Don't forget us Aussies don't get told of EP being submitted. We only get the 'travel call'. Would be nice if this changed and I was wrong!! Anyway I thought I would tell you not to give up on Thursday because we haven't said anything :-)

  3. Ha! Good to know...I'll keep my thursday hopes up!

  4. It is good to identify the pattern to the madness of waiting. Ours involved setting our alarms for the middle of the night so we could either check our email or actually call the US Embassy in Ethiopia. Of course, it ended up just being prep for lots of middle of the night wakings to come ;)
    I will cross everything that you are just on the CUSP of getting the good news....